..A little reflection

The Fourth of July has come and gone yet another time during my lifetime. This past Saturday, as I watched the firework show with my family in Gilbert, I remembered the Fourth of July of 2008. Only a year before, I had been with my sister and three of our good friends, in Cali, on the beach, watching fireworks (yes, I haven't had an English class for a few semesters). As I remembered that trip last summer, it was hard to believe that it had only been one year since that trip (although, in one sense, it seemed like yesterday)!

So much has happened in this past year. A lot of things have happened that I didn't think would happen. Some things good, but most not so good (Or, at least not what I had thought was good at the time). I see God's hand through it all (Now, anyways). I feel like God has been shaking me, too see if my foundation was strong. Or, rather, to show me if it was strong, because, of course, He already knew it wasn't.

Last summer, I had just been accepted into the architecture program at ASU. I had a 4.16 GPA and was feeling pretty good about myself. I had been working at Jamba Juice for a little over 2 years and was pretty much the man there. I felt I could get along with almost anyone and that I was a pretty cool dude. I also felt like I could win pretty much any theological discussion with anyone. I felt like I had my priorities straight. I felt like I had everything in order. I was mistaken.

This past year, all of the things that I found my confidence in, have been shaken. I realize now that I did not have my foundation 100% grounded in Christ. It may have been 80% Christ, but it wasn't a firm foundation. I see that now. God has taken me into a new understanding of who I was, who I am, and who I am called to be. He knew it all along, but He had to show me. I needed to change.

The thing I struggle with most is pride. With my GPA, my rank at work, my ability to get along with people, and my ability to win arguments (or so I thought), I felt above other people. I didn't think that I felt that way, but looking back on my life, I realize that I did. I was very arrogant (and am struggling with it).

This past year, God has..

.. taken my 4.0 GPA. Sure, I still have a really good GPA, but I was pretty pround of that 4.0. In the fall I was in the top 15 architecture students in my year out of 80. In the spring, I did not make the same accomplishment. I realize that there are a lot of gifted students in my program that are more gifted than me. I have to work extremely hard to be in the top.

.. given me a job at the one place I told myself (and everyone around me) that I would never get - at In-n-Out Burger. I went from being a manager at Jamba Juice, to being a noob at INO. Not only that, but I had to shave my facial hair (yeah, I miss it). Everyone now thinks that I am 16/17. I went from knowing everything about my job, to knowing nothing about it. I thought that it would be easy for me to get promoted - it hasn't been.

.. shown me that I don't have complete power over my relationships. He has given me many new relationships, and has pulled some away from me. I have been confused by some people in my life, and yet, I realize that I have probably confused some people in my life. I cannot always be there for someone, and they cannot always be there for me. God has shown to me who my really good friends are, and the ones that are not as beneficial to me.

.. taken me through His Word, and shown me that I don't know as much as I think I do. He has given me new friends that can challenge my views on things. I may have the right view on many things, but sometimes I do not know why. I love these talks with friends. I love God working on my heart. I am grateful to Him that He has given me people in my life to challenge me.



Through it all, God has shown me that I really am not all that and a bag of chips. I need Him. I have been through some hard stuff this year (some of which, I will not tell you about). I have been broken. I realize that sometimes He has to break us down, so that He can build us back up how He wants us. He certainly has been doing that with me lately. I needed to get my life back together. To have new purpose and new passion for Him and His Kingdom. To have less of me, and more of Him. I don't want people to see me when they look at me (bleh, not a pretty sight) but to see Jesus in me!

I thank God for teaching me so much this past year! He has shown me that I need to live sold out for Him. To change my priorities. To love on Him with all that I have, and to experience the most beautiful relationship ever. To realize that He is an awesome God all the time! To love others, as much as I love myself. To live up to the calling He has on my life, and to not settle for second best. To swim against the current. To set myself apart from the world. To be humble and not proud.

I have had a great adventure thus far, and am looking forward to what He has in store for me this next stage of my life. I wonder where He will take me this next year, and how much I will grow by the Fourth of July of 2010!

Cheers.

..Thoughts

Man, it has been a long time since I sat down and blogged. It is not because I have nothing on my mind that I want to talk about. Rather, I have too many things on my mind. I do not know which one to blog about. I figured that today I would summarize most of what I have been thinking about lately:

God is a jealous God. He wants to spend time with us. He is jealous of all the other things we pursue. He wants us to pursue Him whole-heartedly! He desires us to be with Him. He delights in us. He pursues us with everything. He is relentless, and He won't give up.

Being in the presence of God is my favorite thing in the world. I love to worship my God, my Savior, my King. Why is it so easy for me to forget this? I spend my time on other things that have no value - the Bible says that everything here is rubble, it will all pass away. I have access to the Creator of the Universe! How can I not spend time with Him? Not only does He allow me to, but He has a burning desire to spend time with me!

Priorities: The things we spend our time/money/effort on reflect what we deem to be important. What is important to us? God should be our number one. How can we claim to be Christians, yet have no passion/desire to spend time with Him? Why is it that when we get really busy, our time with God is the first thing to go? It should be opposite! Entertainment has no real value to me. Why do we desire it so much?

I recently heard a short message on how God relates to His people: It is like God is on one end of a rope, and we are on the other end. God tells us to draw near to Him and He will draw near to us. It is not like we have to pull the rope all the way to God, he meets us in the middle. Once we start to pull on the rope, God pulls on the rope with all of His might. He comes running towards us. It is like in the parable of the prodigal son. As soon as the father saw his son coming from far down the road, he ran out to meet him. He not only accepted him back into his house, but he threw a party for him. God is waiting for the prodigals to come home. He doesn't expect more than you can give, He just wants you to take the first step. He will welcome you with open arms and with a love that I cannot comprehend. No matter what you do, God's grace is sufficient.

Passion. Where is the passion in the children of God today? God has a brilliant plan for our lives. He wants to use us mightily. He loves us so much that He will not force us into it. He allows us to choose. Are we like Salmon who swim with the current, enjoying the easy life and good water? Or, are we like the Salmon who swim against the current, striving for the best water up stream? God wants us to be set apart - to come after Him with everything. Why are we waiting?

God never promised that living sold out for Him was going to be easy. As soon as we say, 'God, I am yours. Use me.' He will. This doesn't mean that life is going to go perfectly and all of our problems will be gone. But, we will live life abundantly in Him. Nothing else matters.

Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Jesus doesn't just say to love the Lord your God, and end it there. He says that with all your heart, soul and mind you are to love God - with everything! What does it mean to love God with your mind? Does what you think about bring glory to God? Do the things you use your mind for (work, etc) bring glory to God?

Also, I recently realized (or, at least, I have been thinking about it more) that in the second greatest commandment, Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. This means that we need to love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves, how can we love others as ourselves?

I was also talking to my friend recently about how the heavens declare the wonders of God. Creation points to a Creator. This world is so beautifully designed, and with an intricate attention to detail. And, space! It is huge! We cannot even know how big the universe is, yet we don't believe in an intelligent Creator?

God is an amazing designer and he has designed an ultimate plan for our lives. If we only let Him, He will turn our ugly lives into a beautiful masterpiece.

God, I am Yours. Use me.


Cheers.